This is my Mom's guest post that followed my post! adopted at 27
Guest Post: It started with a handshake
Two weeks ago we got to hear from Jennifer who shared her sweet story of being adopted at age 27. I am excited for Jennifer because she is a fairly new writer of her thoughts. It has not been easy going through the things she has gone through. She has only scratched the surface with some of her most recent blog posts and going back and reliving some of the difficult things she has been writing about is not an easy process. I admire her for sharing openly with us and with her blog readers as well. So Jenn…..thanks for starting the sometimes difficult task of writing. You share your life well.
What I’m really excited about today is that Jenn’s adoptive Mom, Liz Clark, will be sharing with us. I won’t say much other than this is a woman I love dearly. She has influenced my life in many ways. She and her husband,Bob,were in our church plant back in Georgia for many years. They are that fun, semi-older couple that don’t let “older” get in the way of anything. As in they both ride motorcycles and wear leathers. And they dressed up for my Grand Opening Wal Mart Wacko party a few years ago. They are the most fun people with incredible amounts of wisdom. They love God and they listen to Him. Here’s just one example of how they heard from God and acted. You will be encouraged!
And, it started with a hand shake……
Bob and I had raised our five children; he has two amazing sons, and I have three awesome children, two daughters and a son. Bob and I retired from our jobs in Florida and knew we wanted a cooler climate in which to live out our days. It seemed a random choice at the time, but little did we know how GOD’s hand was guiding our decision.
Moving to the mountains of North Georgia was almost magic (for the lack of a better word) for me! It was a dream come true. Every new morning I still arise, go out onto our back deck, and just stare at the Appalachian Mountains I feel I can almost reach out to touch. The view never seems to look the same from hour to hour with clouds floating by, or mist to veil their deep valleys, and then I drink in the crisp morning air and whisper, “Thank You, dear Daddy for giving me such beauty.” Yes, moving here was wonderful, but there was more to come our way.
Bob and I found a local church to call “home” and we thoroughly enjoyed the people we met. In fact, some of the members we met back in 1996 remain our dearest friends. For a time, a number of us even met for lunch - EVERY single day - at a local cafe down in town. It was a fun gathering place and a really fun season. Not only did we enjoy eating with our friends, but we enjoyed getting to know the young women who served us. Jennifer A. was one of the young ladies who wove her way into our hearts, and she became a friend as well.
One Sunday, Jennifer A. greeted us just after the service and wanted to introduce us to her dear friend, also a Jennifer. We shook Jennifer’s reluctant hand. At the time, there seemed to be nothing remarkable or “Divine” about this introduction. Jennifer was quiet, seemed a bit out of her comfort zone in this church setting, and listened to the conversations going back and forth among church members.
Soon, Jenn was also working at the local restaurant and would take our lunch orders. Jenn was efficient and polite, but not engaging. I remember Bob’s impression of her was that she was a young teen who was pregnant and seemed angry about the world in general. She had no glow or joy about her at all. We knew little about Jenn’s life at the time, just that she was 17, pregnant and trying really hard to earn enough money to support the new child she would be delivering within a few months.
Bob and I began to pray for this young lady. We asked if it was the LORD’s will, that we might be given inroads and open doors into this young woman’s heart that seemed so walled up and impenetrable. We had no “master plan” nor did we see Jenn as some sort of “spiritual project”. We simply understood that one of our gifts from GOD was the ability to relate to younger people, and if any young person ever needed some older friends, it was this young lady.
After several months of feeding us, Jenn began responding to our questions about how she was doing. We didn’t invade with private stuff, but we were sincerely interested in Jenn’s life and apparently she felt that and began to lighten up and engage in conversation. What we did not know before, was what an INCREDIBLE intellect and edgy humor Jenn possessed. Within a few months, Jenn had us laughing until tears flowed. Her spin on everyday situations should be bottled up and poured out onto the pages of a book, for her divergent perspective on life is amazing and refreshing.
We learned that Jenn was in the hospital to deliver her daughter and we were there for a visit. By this time, Jenn had become more than just a server at our local eatery, she had become our friend. Now, we were not only enjoying Jennifer at lunches, but also over private dinners, or visits to her home to enjoy her new daughter, ChloeJace.
It seemed only natural for Bob and I to respond to those calls for prayer or for counsel and comfort when ChloeJace was ill and her young mommy needed a soft place to land. We not only shared Jenn’s good times, but we also shared in her sorrows. We simply showed up. At times, we had no fancy words to offer, or solutions to problems, we just were “there” for Jenn ... our presence was enough.
That was almost eleven years ago. I reflect back upon our seemingly unremarkable first meeting with Jennifer and marvel at the fingerprints of GOD all over that moment. We went from uncomfortable hugs Jenn “hated” at the time but endured, to extravagant love poured out onto us from this young woman. Residing deep within this girl’s heart was an ocean of love just waiting to break forth. Chloe was the key, Jesus was the Door, and we have become the benefactors of this amazing young woman’s love for us. We know Jenn’s love for us is authentic, accepting, and unconditional.
In October of 2009, Papa and Nanny drove from Northeast Georgia to Kentucky to celebrate George’s third birthday. Yes, ChloeJace not only has a mommy but now she has a daddy and a little brother. It was at this time I knew I needed to ask Jennifer a question the LORD had stirring inside of me for several years. It seemed crazy and totally unorthodox when I first felt this nudge to pursue it, but I stood up in front of Jenn and ask: “Jenn, we’ve played all around this for a few years now. We played “family”. Papa and I are in every way imaginable, ChloeJace and George’s grandparents. What would you think if we made this a legal family? We would like to officially and legally adopt you.” Jenn’s answer was with lightning speed. “Yes!! Of course!!”
We hugged and I mean we REALLY hugged. No more “plastic hugs” as I call them ... you know the kind ... not really authentic and free and childlike. I love when people feel safe enough to really hug from their insides out!
In December, Christmas week, the papers were finalized and the gift Bob and I received in the Autumn of Our Days was another daughter: Jennifer Leah Clark-Dalpe.
As I reflect back upon that incredible FIRST of many “firsts” in my life, I looked down into the face of my firstborn child, Laura Catherine. I thought I could not possibly ever love another child as much as she. “How could I possibly be able to love any other child when I love this one with all that is within me?” Then, something miraculous took place and GOD gave me a baby boy. I had this INCREDIBLE love for Anthony Edward that I didn’t know I could ever possess, but I did. It was revelatory! More love ... and when Laura was five and Tony was three, Marie Elizabeth entered my heart. She was meant to be my daughter, too. She was four years old when my first husband and I adopted her. I began to realize that the more love I give, the move love is given back into my heart by GOD. It can never run out!
Jennifer did not NEED us as parents. She is an amazing self-sufficient, competent, confident and capable woman. Yet, Jenn WANTED to identify with our family in a permanent way. It is a fine line we must walk when such a serious decision is made about adopting. We must check our motives and be sure they are not driven by dysfunction or unhealthy and unmet needs. Our decision to have Jennifer wear our name and be our legal daughter was done over much time, with much prayer, and with internal self checks to strip away anything that might hurt this young lady and her children later on. GOD was Counselor and Guide, and I thank Him for giving us insights and answers as we needed along this journey.
Father, how You continue to amaze me! Thank You that You have given our hearts an endless supply of love for others. Thank You for the unexpected and surprises in our Golden years of life. Thank you that loving Jennifer back when she was a young, scared and lonely teenager, now is a gift of love she so freely gives back to us.
Who would ever have guessed what GOD had in mind? And, it all began with a handshake.
The thing that strikes me most in these words is this phrase: “We simply showed up. At times, we had no fancy words to offer, or solutions to problems, we just were “there” for Jenn ... our presence was enough.” My prayer is that I too will show up. That I will be present. That when God calls me to more than simply being interested in my “neighbor” and it involves sacrifice, that I would say Yes with a wide open heart.
How about you? Has God ever called you to something divinely deep? Maybe it started with something as small as a handshake but it ended up being something you could never have conjured up yourself. I’d love to hear about it. God is always doing this kind of stuff around us and it’s inspiring.
What I’m really excited about today is that Jenn’s adoptive Mom, Liz Clark, will be sharing with us. I won’t say much other than this is a woman I love dearly. She has influenced my life in many ways. She and her husband,Bob,were in our church plant back in Georgia for many years. They are that fun, semi-older couple that don’t let “older” get in the way of anything. As in they both ride motorcycles and wear leathers. And they dressed up for my Grand Opening Wal Mart Wacko party a few years ago. They are the most fun people with incredible amounts of wisdom. They love God and they listen to Him. Here’s just one example of how they heard from God and acted. You will be encouraged!
And, it started with a hand shake……
Bob and I had raised our five children; he has two amazing sons, and I have three awesome children, two daughters and a son. Bob and I retired from our jobs in Florida and knew we wanted a cooler climate in which to live out our days. It seemed a random choice at the time, but little did we know how GOD’s hand was guiding our decision.
Moving to the mountains of North Georgia was almost magic (for the lack of a better word) for me! It was a dream come true. Every new morning I still arise, go out onto our back deck, and just stare at the Appalachian Mountains I feel I can almost reach out to touch. The view never seems to look the same from hour to hour with clouds floating by, or mist to veil their deep valleys, and then I drink in the crisp morning air and whisper, “Thank You, dear Daddy for giving me such beauty.” Yes, moving here was wonderful, but there was more to come our way.
Bob and I found a local church to call “home” and we thoroughly enjoyed the people we met. In fact, some of the members we met back in 1996 remain our dearest friends. For a time, a number of us even met for lunch - EVERY single day - at a local cafe down in town. It was a fun gathering place and a really fun season. Not only did we enjoy eating with our friends, but we enjoyed getting to know the young women who served us. Jennifer A. was one of the young ladies who wove her way into our hearts, and she became a friend as well.
One Sunday, Jennifer A. greeted us just after the service and wanted to introduce us to her dear friend, also a Jennifer. We shook Jennifer’s reluctant hand. At the time, there seemed to be nothing remarkable or “Divine” about this introduction. Jennifer was quiet, seemed a bit out of her comfort zone in this church setting, and listened to the conversations going back and forth among church members.
Soon, Jenn was also working at the local restaurant and would take our lunch orders. Jenn was efficient and polite, but not engaging. I remember Bob’s impression of her was that she was a young teen who was pregnant and seemed angry about the world in general. She had no glow or joy about her at all. We knew little about Jenn’s life at the time, just that she was 17, pregnant and trying really hard to earn enough money to support the new child she would be delivering within a few months.
Bob and I began to pray for this young lady. We asked if it was the LORD’s will, that we might be given inroads and open doors into this young woman’s heart that seemed so walled up and impenetrable. We had no “master plan” nor did we see Jenn as some sort of “spiritual project”. We simply understood that one of our gifts from GOD was the ability to relate to younger people, and if any young person ever needed some older friends, it was this young lady.
After several months of feeding us, Jenn began responding to our questions about how she was doing. We didn’t invade with private stuff, but we were sincerely interested in Jenn’s life and apparently she felt that and began to lighten up and engage in conversation. What we did not know before, was what an INCREDIBLE intellect and edgy humor Jenn possessed. Within a few months, Jenn had us laughing until tears flowed. Her spin on everyday situations should be bottled up and poured out onto the pages of a book, for her divergent perspective on life is amazing and refreshing.
We learned that Jenn was in the hospital to deliver her daughter and we were there for a visit. By this time, Jenn had become more than just a server at our local eatery, she had become our friend. Now, we were not only enjoying Jennifer at lunches, but also over private dinners, or visits to her home to enjoy her new daughter, ChloeJace.
It seemed only natural for Bob and I to respond to those calls for prayer or for counsel and comfort when ChloeJace was ill and her young mommy needed a soft place to land. We not only shared Jenn’s good times, but we also shared in her sorrows. We simply showed up. At times, we had no fancy words to offer, or solutions to problems, we just were “there” for Jenn ... our presence was enough.
That was almost eleven years ago. I reflect back upon our seemingly unremarkable first meeting with Jennifer and marvel at the fingerprints of GOD all over that moment. We went from uncomfortable hugs Jenn “hated” at the time but endured, to extravagant love poured out onto us from this young woman. Residing deep within this girl’s heart was an ocean of love just waiting to break forth. Chloe was the key, Jesus was the Door, and we have become the benefactors of this amazing young woman’s love for us. We know Jenn’s love for us is authentic, accepting, and unconditional.
In October of 2009, Papa and Nanny drove from Northeast Georgia to Kentucky to celebrate George’s third birthday. Yes, ChloeJace not only has a mommy but now she has a daddy and a little brother. It was at this time I knew I needed to ask Jennifer a question the LORD had stirring inside of me for several years. It seemed crazy and totally unorthodox when I first felt this nudge to pursue it, but I stood up in front of Jenn and ask: “Jenn, we’ve played all around this for a few years now. We played “family”. Papa and I are in every way imaginable, ChloeJace and George’s grandparents. What would you think if we made this a legal family? We would like to officially and legally adopt you.” Jenn’s answer was with lightning speed. “Yes!! Of course!!”
We hugged and I mean we REALLY hugged. No more “plastic hugs” as I call them ... you know the kind ... not really authentic and free and childlike. I love when people feel safe enough to really hug from their insides out!
In December, Christmas week, the papers were finalized and the gift Bob and I received in the Autumn of Our Days was another daughter: Jennifer Leah Clark-Dalpe.
As I reflect back upon that incredible FIRST of many “firsts” in my life, I looked down into the face of my firstborn child, Laura Catherine. I thought I could not possibly ever love another child as much as she. “How could I possibly be able to love any other child when I love this one with all that is within me?” Then, something miraculous took place and GOD gave me a baby boy. I had this INCREDIBLE love for Anthony Edward that I didn’t know I could ever possess, but I did. It was revelatory! More love ... and when Laura was five and Tony was three, Marie Elizabeth entered my heart. She was meant to be my daughter, too. She was four years old when my first husband and I adopted her. I began to realize that the more love I give, the move love is given back into my heart by GOD. It can never run out!
Jennifer did not NEED us as parents. She is an amazing self-sufficient, competent, confident and capable woman. Yet, Jenn WANTED to identify with our family in a permanent way. It is a fine line we must walk when such a serious decision is made about adopting. We must check our motives and be sure they are not driven by dysfunction or unhealthy and unmet needs. Our decision to have Jennifer wear our name and be our legal daughter was done over much time, with much prayer, and with internal self checks to strip away anything that might hurt this young lady and her children later on. GOD was Counselor and Guide, and I thank Him for giving us insights and answers as we needed along this journey.
Father, how You continue to amaze me! Thank You that You have given our hearts an endless supply of love for others. Thank You for the unexpected and surprises in our Golden years of life. Thank you that loving Jennifer back when she was a young, scared and lonely teenager, now is a gift of love she so freely gives back to us.
Who would ever have guessed what GOD had in mind? And, it all began with a handshake.
The thing that strikes me most in these words is this phrase: “We simply showed up. At times, we had no fancy words to offer, or solutions to problems, we just were “there” for Jenn ... our presence was enough.” My prayer is that I too will show up. That I will be present. That when God calls me to more than simply being interested in my “neighbor” and it involves sacrifice, that I would say Yes with a wide open heart.
How about you? Has God ever called you to something divinely deep? Maybe it started with something as small as a handshake but it ended up being something you could never have conjured up yourself. I’d love to hear about it. God is always doing this kind of stuff around us and it’s inspiring.
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