Adopted at 27 my guest post for Melody Hester

I love how all through Psalms we are told to tell of the good deeds God has done. Basically, we are given complete liberty to be big fat tattle tales….on God! (Insert favorite childhood song of mine: “tattle tale, tattle tale, hang your britches on a nail, hang them high, hang them low…sorry, just had to.) And that’s what my friend, Jennifer, has done in this recollection of how her legal adoption at age 27 came to be. Her story of God’s amazing deeds will grab your heart as it did mine. You will be introduced to a real couple who wear Jesus well and you’ll see a beautiful girl who is growing and thriving in her acceptance of God’s unconditional love. It’s a long post and I’d rather you read Jenn’s story than my introduction to it so I’ll shut up now. Ahem.

So it all started with a hand shake and a very reluctant hug. It was about 12 years ago when I was seventeen and pregnant and found myself at church having to shake hands with old people which was very annoying to me. The old people seemed nice but they liked to hug and shake hands. Soon these people where everywhere. But they didn't seem to mind that I was pregnant or that I didn't have a father for the baby. Not everyone is like that though. You see even at church you get lots of cold stares and people whisper when you walk by. In fact there were people in the church that wouldn't even talk to someone like me. But not Bob and Liz. They were different. They came to visit me when I had my baby and of course, they wanted to hug! Soon everywhere I went I would see Bob and Liz. I started to like them. I could talk about my struggles of being a child, and my struggles of having a baby. My daughter, ChloeJace, was very sick and so it was nothing for her name to be on the prayer chain. She was first hospitalized at 28 days old. Over the next few years Bob and Liz were around a lot. They were there for first surgeries, first Christmas, and her first birthday. I got used to them wanting hugs, but still didn't like it. They became my go-to people for advice on everything and they were there for ChloeJace for everything. They were like Grandparents! Soon they knew all the stories of my past and how I got to be where I was which included all the bad stories of all the bad things that I had done. Just short of killing a person I have done almost everything bad you can think of. We were building a real relationship. God had woven our lives together. And the ironic thing is that I didn't even notice what God was doing. I think he was shielding me from understanding what he was doing because if I had known I would have done a lot more to sabotage God's plan. I thought that it was my destiny to be miserable and unhappy forever. Did I mention I had done a lot of bad things? So I thought being unhappy and miserable was my payback.

But God
But God began to show me that I could be clean; that he could make me new and whole again. God began to work IN me and he has been working on me for years. Through these two people he put in my life I began to change. I was no longer grossed out by having to hug them. I wanted to hug them and I wanted to be apart of them. God has used them to show me that love doesn't have to be earned. That no matter what the bad things are in my life, someone wants to put their arms around me and tell me they love me. There is no amount of badnesss, if that is a word, that God cannot overcome. God picked me up from being single, pregnant and homeless and he cleaned me up and made me new again.
So my life has gone on. I got married, had another kid and finished school. And still after all these years there are two people in my life that are there because they want to be there.

Years went by of this couple loving me, spending time with me and visiting with me. And then finally, after years of hoping, I heard the words I’ll never forget. It was in October of 2009 while Bob and Liz were up for a visit. It had been talked about and mentioned before, but only lightly. I guess with both of us being human you have to test the waters. After all, I HAD been a real piece of work! It took a long time for the walls to come down. Looking back it made the Berlin wall look easy.

But God
But God helped tear down those walls.
So back to the words spoken. It was not planned by us but by God. I had been praying that they would ask. And they had been praying if they should ask. It is not something you take lightly or that can come to fruition without God. And when Liz stood up from the couch a towering 5'3", I was standing right in front of her and she said, "For years now we have been playing; we should make it official. We should adopt you.” And at 26 years old, those were the most beautiful words I have ever heard. I didn't even have to think; the answer, of course, was yes!! And in December of 2009 the courts officially stamped the document. I became Jennifer Leah Clark-Dalpe!! My biological mother had died when I was 3, so after 23 years I finally had a Mommy and a Daddy! My kids know them as their grandparents because they are. I try not to think of it too much. My flesh jumps in and I think of how I can't belong or don't belong. I am so used to not being accepted. How could anyone be willing to do anything more than play family with me.


But God

But God started working on this years before those awkward hand shakes and annoying hugs ever took place. And he has continued to work. God never gives up on us even when we give up on ourselves. God has transformed me in ways I could have never dreamed of. But he did it so slowly that I never knew it was happening. God came to me in the form of two little red headed people. He used them to show me love. It is never too late for God. It took longer than I wanted to get the family that I wanted but God knew what it would take to get to me. So I know it couldn't have happened at a better time. The handshake had to come first and the walls had to come down and then family could fill those places.


I wonder about you……can you relate to Jennifer? I don’t necessarily mean being adopted as an adult but what about having to really work through accepting God’s love for you possibly because of your past or your all –to- keen memory of what your former days were like? Or maybe you had a Bob and Liz divinely walk into your life and, as Jenn says, “were around a lot”. If so, what did that look like? And finally, I have to ask….are we being around a lot in someone’s life right now? Maybe you’re at the hand shake stage or the uncomfortable hug that seems more welcomed now. Heck, you might even be at the legal document stage! Would love to hear about it.

My must haves!

Favorites time!! woohoo. I always love to hear about what people like and are using. And since I am a hoarder of all things cosmetic I thought maybe I should share.  You will see there are a few brands that I am obsessed with right now, and I am sure that will change.  So here we go.

Lets start with feet, ewww gross. Oh, and just let me say if men are going to wear sandals then they should get peddies too. Nobody wants to see ugly man feet. There are do it your self kits!
I love the Volcano mask for feet by Lush. It comes in a pot. You just slather some on and let it dry (also a good reason to sit with your feet up for 20mins.)  This helps pull out impurities, softens, and helps with odor and wetness. It is also all natural.
Then a good follow up, or/everyday use would be Pi de piper foot lotion. If feels great. I has spearmint and arnica (that helps with pain) and give your piggys moisture. This is also by Lush.
Then winter months or anytime your piggys need a bit more moisture I love Hemp foot protector from Body Shop. Psst...this also comes in a formula for hands you'll love it too. This is a thicker heavier cream. This product to is all natural and both of the company's mentioned above you fair trade products, don't test on animals and the products are natural and sometimes even vegan!!  Say whhhaatt I didn't know they could make vegan products, I thought that was just for food.

Now lets move on to body:
I am addicted to self tanning, I just love the natural glow all year. Even with 2 inches of snow on the ground I can still glow! I have tried a lot. The one I love the most is Versa spa. The make a spray in a can that is one color and if you don't want to stand in the cold both this is great. The color is always natural and the you can spray from any direction. Note: If you choose to use a spray at home make sure you get in your shower and close  the curtain. That way any over spray will wash right down. Also be clean and dry make sure you exfoliate and shave. Use a wash cloth and not a sponge you get a better exfoliation.
Since I mentioned shaving lets move on to that. To get a clean closer shave anywhere use Sparkle Skin by Clinique.  Apply lightly like a lotion and the shave it off. It won't cut,scratch or hurt you or your razor! This product comes in a tube or pot.
Also for body lets talk about sunscreen! There are a few sunscreens I love.  They are far better than anything you can get a Wal-mart or the drug store. Clinique and Lancome. Clinique has a stick for eyes, lids and lips (also great for kids). They also have a spray and regular lotion. Both brands are better than broad spectrum and meet the 3:1 euro ratio. Clinique has even add so that your sunscreen is not just protection you from the sun but also repairing damage!! Yes, it is working hard to undo and stop damage!
On the body I would like to recommend 2 powders. Not to use at the same time unless you want to.
Candy sparkle and Coconut both by Lush!  Candy Sparkle smells light and sweet but not to sweet. You can dust it on all over or just in areas. It leaves your skin soft and give you a nice sparkle. The Coconut is more of a deodorant powder and a bit more heavy. It too leaves skin soft, helps reduce odor and wetness.
If your body needs some help like mine try Body Lift 2000 by Clarins. Love, Love, Love it.  It helps to lift and firm and reduce the appearance of cellulite. Hint: during the holidays you can get them in sets 2 for 1.

Face time:
So for day we know we need a sunscreen mentioned above. Most of the time we have foundation, liquid or powder that has a sunscreen in it. That is fine for incidental exposure....meaning fine if you are in the house or going to and from your car. For anything more then that you need more protection. Hint: If you are going somewhere and having pictures taken don't wear sunscreen ANY the sunscreen in most foundations are spheres that float on top of the skin surface giving you that white face look in pictures!
I am still on the hunt for my fave cleanser I do have several likes.  Coal Face and Fresh Pharmacy by Lush.  Coal Face has very fine pieces of coal, and we all know what coal does...it absorbs! So this is great for oil skin! Fresh Pharmacy has calamine and it helps to soothe.. great for upset, broke out, or sensitive skin. Both also double as make up removers! I also love the Oil perfection Light cleanser from Laura Mercier, it starts out as an oil then when you add water it turns into a milk. Being "Light" it is great for oily skin (like mine). This too is a make up remover.

I have also had a hard time with toner, I just haven't found one that I can't live with out.  Cucumber toner from Mario Badescue is great very soothing. Hint:Mario product are VERY reasonable in price, and used by celebs. like Jennifer Anistion and Martha Stuart.
I also like Perfection water light by Laura Mercier. This is a nice splash on that gives a bit of a tingle. The water has nano nutrients that are pumped from the sea and have never seen light before. It also temporally over hydrates the skin ( this gives you a more plump look also pushes debris out of the pores).
If you like to to freshen up, maybe your skin get extra dry try a spray.  Like Cliniques Moisture Surge -Spray or Mist Opportunity by Mark. Both you can throw in your purse and carry with you, they can be used over or under your make up. Just spray and let it soak in no rubbing required.  I have sprayed both over my make up and yes it works fine just DON"T RUB.
Next would be facial sunscreens Cinique Moisture tint or Clinique city block! Both have a bit of color. Moisture tint you can get it 3 different color I get neutral because...well it is neutral. It gives you an extra boost in moisture great for dryer skin types. City block has jut one tint but seem to work for everyone. This also comes in up to a 50 SPF!  Hint:if you are going out special or having pictures use a primer. These are silicone based and float just above the skin giving you a flawless perfect look my fave is Smash Box Primer and Lancome Primer. (I just ordered one from VS so we will see how that works.)

Time for Serums... I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Estee Lauders' Daywear!!  This product is great it has chestnut seed extracts that helps to unclog pores and is silicone based so it give a silky smooth finish.
Also helps to repair and diminsh sun spot! Clinique has Even Better and Even Better Clinical! These serums focus on diminishing sun spot and uneven skin tone. Also silicone based and leave a velvet soft feel.  For night I have to have Estee Lauder Night Repair. This product changed my skin and I can't live without it! I have oily skin so always try to reduce my oil I also reduce my moisture, then my skin gets dehydrated and looks old. It has and ingredient that pulls in moisture. So I can reduce oil but retain my moisture balance. This is a most for all skin types and ages if you give it a chance it will change your skin! This is at the top of my list!

Facial moisturisers are another that I have found ONE or THE ONE. For now I am using Clinique Even Better moisturiser this comes in 3 different types depending on your skin type. It helps to reduce sun spots and uneven skin tone. Paired with a sunscreen it is Guaranteed to reduce uneven skin tone in 4 shades in 4-6 weeks money back. But you have to be charted by a Clinique consultants. They also have a night formula of the Even Better lotion in 3 types for different skin types. I am using the day and night right now but for night I like Lancome Renergie Lift Night Cream  (don't think i spelled that right.) This is a thicker cream and helps to lift and firm the skin, not sure why I liked it just did. So far that is the only night cream that I have even liked:( My Fave day cream is Enzyomion by Lush.  It is great for oily skin, the first time I used it I fell in love. I could feel it wick away the oil from my skin. Hint: you can also use products that wick away the oil after you have make up on there is everything from rice paper sheets Burt's Bees makes my fave and they are easy to take with you and blot anytime. Or you can use  a product like Cliniques T-Zone shine control.

Now with foundation it is tricky I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, Laura Mercier oil Free Foundation. There is also a kind with oil for dry skin types. I am very hard to match because I am so yellow and most foundation have a very pink base even if they say neutral  or golden. This you use a sponge, wet it the add a dab pencil point amount and apply. Hint: this is a special sponge not the ones you buy at the drug store, if you choose to use the drug store ones you need to use a new one everyday!!! The hold bacteria and you don't want to re apply bacteria to your face...ewwww. I also love Estee Lauder's Double Wear this comes in lots of different formulas if you like full coverage get the regular. If you like less coverage (like for summer) use Double Wear Light. There is also a new Double Wear Mineral powder.  Hint:if using a mineral powder to get the intended result you much use a mineral brush!! This is a must! I have not had a chance to try the new powder but I am sure I will love it!

For setting powder it is not that big of a deal to me I use Clinique loose powder it comes in lots of different shades and you can get some with a sparkle too if you like. I like the translucent so I can use it no matter how light or dark I am be.

Also with powders and foundation Mineral foundations seem to be real popular. I don't know why I think powders are messy and don't want all that in my bathroom, and touch ups on the go are hard.  Hint:also with mineral powders you MUST use a setting powder or veil. If you want the intended result. I like Lancome's Mineral powder, you can sometimes get the set that has the brush and the veil! If not buying the set separately get pricey.

Let's do eyebrows, this is easy if you want great brows find a "Brow Bar" by Benefit. They will set you up and they have a lacquer that keeps your brows from smudging and smearing.

Lipstick is an easy one too. If you want great color that stay on great use Fashion Fair this is a line for African American women, and they have been keeping a secret. Their lipsticks are the best.

Lip liner is easy too if you wear highly pigmented colors like reds  you want to FOR SURE use a liner. The pigments tend to spread out.  No matter how young or old your lips are these colors will spread out giving you that old lady lip look. Laura Mercier has a nude line that helps hold the color in place. Hint: you get the best look you will want to exfoliate your lips before you apply. Clinique has a lip scrub that you put on then wipe off. It is a smooth cream. If you need more exfoliation Lush has lip scrubs that are grainy and great flavors.

Going further with lips, for everyday the one and only chap stick that should ever be used by anyone is Burts' Bees.  I prefer the original and in the pot but you can get the stick and now they have a honey or pomegranate version. They also have ones with tints.

For now I will leave at this and add the rest of my Faves. soon

Boogerology

Yes, that is the study of boogers. This is a subject that I know alot about. I know the complete life cycle of a booger. It starts with George, at a young age I taught him how to pick his nose. I did this because he hated getting his nose cleaned, so I thought he could just do it himself. Well the booger pickin' part is easy it is what to do with them afterwards that is giving me the most trouble. Sometimes he does a good job! Sometimes not so much! If he is in the car he will roll down his window and let them back into the wild. Of course you know this is happening because he sings to them as they fly out and hit the car behind us. "All we are is just boogies in da wind."  So that hard to get stuff off the windshield, well now you know what it is. The other day he was putting them in the sink. Which is good but he can't reach to turn the water on. Now every time I go to the sink I look to see if he left me a present. Now for some not so good places. OK now I caught him putting them in my purse!!!! Yes, in my purse. I shreeked "George". I guess he thought everything else was in there, and lots of times it does look like a garbage dump in there. But not somewhere I want boogers! That is what I get. I had caught him days earlier putting boogers in his sisters backpack, and my first reaction was to laugh, then to tell him not to do that and have him get a tissue. Things are not always that bad most of the time he will hand them to me. "Here mom i picked this for you" babhahah jk. But at least then I can dispose of them properly and have him wash his hands. This past week he has had a cold so now I am teaching him to blow his nose. With his cold it has been booger central at the house. Now you know more about George's boogers than you ever cared to know.

Every Season turn, turn, turn

Well we have found out today that we will be moving. No date yet. But it will be in this month, and it will be to Lima, OH. Last time we moved with Ford we had a weeks notice and I was on full bedrest with George, and it was the week befor school started back for ChloeJace. But you might be asking yourself what is in Ohio??? Besides speeding tickets?? I guess we will find out. The only thing that I know about the place we are going is that it is off of I 75. It will only add about 2hours more of a drive to GA. We have already started packing, it is never to early! I hate moving and packing but it is a good way to get rid of alot of junk you have around the house. The price of living is cheaper, alot cheaper, the median house price is 80k. Wow! right. That is super cheap! Hopefuly I will be able to get a job. Not that I have on here, but I need one. ChloeJace will need a good school and she has that here so I am praying that we will get the same even more up there. I do love the snow. And I am guessing that there is more snow up there. There is also brown dirt that I am excited about. I am thinking I will like summers alot more since they won't be blazing hot! So we will see keep us in your prayers! We are going to need them!

Mass night out

ChloeJace and I have been taking RICA classes. FUN.  We go on Tuesday nights and learn about what the traditions of the Catholic church are. Today (Feast of all Saints) we went to mass together it is great that we get to go and leave George with his dad! It is great that ChloeJace and I can spend time together without any boys around. So tonight we lit candles in honor of someone we love that has passed away.  I can't tell you how beautiful it was to see 50is or so candles in different colored jars twinkling by the window. Sometimes you can just be somewhere and feel G-ods holy presents around you. And St. Francis Xavier is one of those places. The traditions of the church are a great thing to pass down to your children. So we are going back to my roots, and the ones that Brian grew up with. To have this different picture of worship. And just to think people have been doing these traditions for hundreds of years. WOW that is along time. So make a visit to your local catholic church, you might be surprised at what you don't know! And I will keep you uptodate on how ChloeJace and I are doing and what we are learning about! God Bless

My great Kids!

So I know my children are just on loan from the lord. And I am to mold them and guide them. Growing up without a mother sometimes makes that hard. But tonight while at a pumpkin carving party I realized how great they are. George full of energy, was, well George. He played and had a great time laughed and giggled. ChloeJace was sweet polite and helpful. I never had to get onto ither of them for anything. George after eating his pizza jumped down and washed his hands. ChloeJace talked with the adults and never missed a beat of having fun or being a lady. I know I had very little to do with this. These to are true blessing from God. Somehow in my crazy way of trying to parent they are getting it. They could not be better. But yet their personalities came through and they had fun. The perfect mix. I think it started with ChloeJace she is the perfect storm of what a child of God is. She has been through horrible things, and somehow is not bitter or mean. She accepts what God has put in her path, and she embrasses it, and show others how to walk gracefuly through some of the hardes times of life. I don't know why ChloeJace's life has to have these challenges, but I am thankfull that God gave them to the right person. She allow God to guide her life, and I pray she always does.

The most beautiful time.

So like many others Fall is my favorite time of year. The colors are beautiful and and the air is crisp, your able to go outside after those long dog days of summer are over. You get to pick pumpkin, go on hayrides, cornmazes.
I can't help but think about how in this season everything is starting to die. The grass is getting harder, the leaves are falling off the trees. It just amazes me that in this time of dying we can still manage to see all the beauty in it. In most times of dying we don't see anything that is beauty, but somehow when it is all around us it is at its most beautiful. And in six months from now we will be coming out of this. At the time of birth and renewal we will again be at one of the beautiful times of year. What a wonderful world he has made for us.

What does it mean?

So what is it to be a mom? Does nine months of being a house make you a mom. Giving someone 9 months that they will never remeber, that brings them into a world of not meant for them. A place that will never be there home? Or is it the person that gives you a home, food, clothes, emotional support, tough love? Does a Mom have to love the good, the bad, the ugly? When does a Mom become a Mom, the first sleepless night, the baby is up all night, the first day of school, or the first time the child cries out for Mommy.

Being an adult child is hard, or is it harder to be the adult to a child? When does pure love take the place of blood? Why do we decide to love the ones we do? Why do we accept those that are not like us? Why do we love the broken that we know we can't fix ?

If you have never been loved how can you love, how can you feel. If a child is not born to you how can you love them like your own child? Or is motherly instinct something we made up.

Jesus was not the son of Joseph, but Joseph was the father and God was the father. And he was just as much Gods son as he was Josephs son.

So at 27 I can be a mother and also get a mother. So I am a mother and a child, to my mother i want to always be a child, where as to my child I always want to be the mother.

Now in my actions and words I want to make my mother proud and think of what I would want my child to do or say. Sometimes what I do is not what I think a mother would want. So when I am up crying for my Mom is she up crying for me. Though I don't want her to ever feel an ounce of pain on mybehalfe, I hope she is crying for me and reaching out to hold me when I am crying for her.

However my Mom became my Mom, I can't imagine how she could/can love me. When I look at my children I can't imagine how I could not love them.

God gave me a Great Womb and a Great Mom I belive that my belly mom and my and my heart Mom, are differnt people, but somehow they are the same. It took a little bit of both to make me, and Gods way are not something that, here on earth I can make sense of, but God knew what he was doing. And how or why God gave me a mother at 27 I don't know and can't explaine. It was something I wanted for years, but was to affraid of rejection to ever say something. It was something I had felt for years but to say it, for it to be "offical" are feeling I cannot explain. For someone to ask me, to say they had talked about it and prayed about it. Was a shock and still is. For me it was just some kind of couping mechanisame I had made up to think I belong to a family, and to call them my family was pretend. To find out I wasn't just making things up, my pretend family was... is true. All I can say is that it is better than then any pretend story.

Love is not a story it is a song, the kind of song that brings tears of joy. On Christmas, Mothers day, her birthday, everyday that she is my Mother is worth more than any card, or present, there are no words that can say how wonderful it is to be my Mothers child! And to even try to express that to her, or tell her my love......this side of heavan just doesn't exsists. Someday God will show her, what her love is to me!

I can only Pray that someday I will be as wonderful as you, that I will make you as proud of me as I am to be your daughter. I guess I just never belived that I deserved a Mother as good as you.

I LOVE YOU.