I love how all through Psalms we are told to tell of the good deeds God has done. Basically, we are given complete liberty to be big fat tattle tales….on God! (Insert favorite childhood song of mine: “tattle tale, tattle tale, hang your britches on a nail, hang them high, hang them low…sorry, just had to.) And that’s what my friend, Jennifer, has done in this recollection of how her legal adoption at age 27 came to be. Her story of God’s amazing deeds will grab your heart as it did mine. You will be introduced to a real couple who wear Jesus well and you’ll see a beautiful girl who is growing and thriving in her acceptance of God’s unconditional love. It’s a long post and I’d rather you read Jenn’s story than my introduction to it so I’ll shut up now. Ahem.
So it all started with a hand shake and a very reluctant hug. It was about 12 years ago when I was seventeen and pregnant and found myself at church having to shake hands with old people which was very annoying to me. The old people seemed nice but they liked to hug and shake hands. Soon these people where everywhere. But they didn't seem to mind that I was pregnant or that I didn't have a father for the baby. Not everyone is like that though. You see even at church you get lots of cold stares and people whisper when you walk by. In fact there were people in the church that wouldn't even talk to someone like me. But not Bob and Liz. They were different. They came to visit me when I had my baby and of course, they wanted to hug! Soon everywhere I went I would see Bob and Liz. I started to like them. I could talk about my struggles of being a child, and my struggles of having a baby. My daughter, ChloeJace, was very sick and so it was nothing for her name to be on the prayer chain. She was first hospitalized at 28 days old. Over the next few years Bob and Liz were around a lot. They were there for first surgeries, first Christmas, and her first birthday. I got used to them wanting hugs, but still didn't like it. They became my go-to people for advice on everything and they were there for ChloeJace for everything. They were like Grandparents! Soon they knew all the stories of my past and how I got to be where I was which included all the bad stories of all the bad things that I had done. Just short of killing a person I have done almost everything bad you can think of. We were building a real relationship. God had woven our lives together. And the ironic thing is that I didn't even notice what God was doing. I think he was shielding me from understanding what he was doing because if I had known I would have done a lot more to sabotage God's plan. I thought that it was my destiny to be miserable and unhappy forever. Did I mention I had done a lot of bad things? So I thought being unhappy and miserable was my payback.
But God
But God began to show me that I could be clean; that he could make me new and whole again. God began to work IN me and he has been working on me for years. Through these two people he put in my life I began to change. I was no longer grossed out by having to hug them. I wanted to hug them and I wanted to be apart of them. God has used them to show me that love doesn't have to be earned. That no matter what the bad things are in my life, someone wants to put their arms around me and tell me they love me. There is no amount of badnesss, if that is a word, that God cannot overcome. God picked me up from being single, pregnant and homeless and he cleaned me up and made me new again.
So my life has gone on. I got married, had another kid and finished school. And still after all these years there are two people in my life that are there because they want to be there.
Years went by of this couple loving me, spending time with me and visiting with me. And then finally, after years of hoping, I heard the words I’ll never forget. It was in October of 2009 while Bob and Liz were up for a visit. It had been talked about and mentioned before, but only lightly. I guess with both of us being human you have to test the waters. After all, I HAD been a real piece of work! It took a long time for the walls to come down. Looking back it made the Berlin wall look easy.
But God
But God helped tear down those walls.
So back to the words spoken. It was not planned by us but by God. I had been praying that they would ask. And they had been praying if they should ask. It is not something you take lightly or that can come to fruition without God. And when Liz stood up from the couch a towering 5'3", I was standing right in front of her and she said, "For years now we have been playing; we should make it official. We should adopt you.” And at 26 years old, those were the most beautiful words I have ever heard. I didn't even have to think; the answer, of course, was yes!! And in December of 2009 the courts officially stamped the document. I became Jennifer Leah Clark-Dalpe!! My biological mother had died when I was 3, so after 23 years I finally had a Mommy and a Daddy! My kids know them as their grandparents because they are. I try not to think of it too much. My flesh jumps in and I think of how I can't belong or don't belong. I am so used to not being accepted. How could anyone be willing to do anything more than play family with me.
But God
But God started working on this years before those awkward hand shakes and annoying hugs ever took place. And he has continued to work. God never gives up on us even when we give up on ourselves. God has transformed me in ways I could have never dreamed of. But he did it so slowly that I never knew it was happening. God came to me in the form of two little red headed people. He used them to show me love. It is never too late for God. It took longer than I wanted to get the family that I wanted but God knew what it would take to get to me. So I know it couldn't have happened at a better time. The handshake had to come first and the walls had to come down and then family could fill those places.
