It started with a handshake

This is my Mom's guest post that followed my post! adopted at 27

Guest Post: It started with a handshake

Two weeks ago we got to hear from Jennifer who shared her sweet story of being adopted at age 27. I am excited for Jennifer because she is a fairly new writer of her thoughts. It has not been easy going through the things she has gone through. She has only scratched the surface with some of her most recent blog posts and going back and reliving some of the difficult things she has been writing about is not an easy process. I admire her for sharing openly with us and with her blog readers as well. So Jenn…..thanks for starting the sometimes difficult task of writing. You share your life well.
What I’m really excited about today is that Jenn’s adoptive Mom, Liz Clark, will be sharing with us. I won’t say much other than this is a woman I love dearly. She has influenced my life in many ways. She and her husband,Bob,were in our church plant back in Georgia for many years. They are that fun, semi-older couple that don’t let “older” get in the way of anything. As in they both ride motorcycles and wear leathers. And they dressed up for my Grand Opening Wal Mart Wacko party a few years ago. They are the  most fun people with incredible amounts of wisdom. They love God and they listen to Him. Here’s just one example of how they heard from God and acted. You will be encouraged!

And, it started with a hand shake……



Bob and I had raised our five children; he has two amazing sons, and I have three awesome children, two daughters and a son. Bob and I retired from our jobs in Florida and knew we wanted a cooler climate in which to live out our days. It seemed a random choice at the time, but little did we know how GOD’s hand was guiding our decision.
Moving to the mountains of North Georgia was almost magic (for the lack of a better word) for me! It was a dream come true. Every new morning I still arise, go out onto our back deck, and just stare at the Appalachian Mountains I feel I can almost reach out to touch. The view never seems to look the same from hour to hour with clouds floating by, or mist to veil their deep valleys, and then I drink in the crisp morning air and whisper, “Thank You, dear Daddy for giving me such beauty.” Yes, moving here was wonderful, but there was more to come our way.
Bob and I found a local church to call “home” and we thoroughly enjoyed the people we met. In fact, some of the members we met back in 1996 remain our dearest friends. For a time, a number of us even met for lunch - EVERY single day - at a local cafe down in town. It was a fun gathering place and a really fun season. Not only did we enjoy eating with our friends, but we enjoyed getting to know the young women who served us. Jennifer A. was one of the young ladies who wove her way into our hearts, and she became a friend as well.
One Sunday, Jennifer A. greeted us just after the service and wanted to introduce us to her dear friend, also a Jennifer.  We shook Jennifer’s reluctant hand. At the time, there seemed to be nothing remarkable or “Divine” about this introduction. Jennifer was quiet, seemed a bit out of her comfort zone in this church setting, and listened to the conversations going back and forth among church members.
Soon, Jenn was also working at the local restaurant and would take our lunch orders. Jenn was efficient and polite, but not engaging. I remember Bob’s impression of her was that she was a young teen who was pregnant and seemed angry about the world in general. She had no glow or joy about her at all. We knew little about Jenn’s life at the time, just that she was 17, pregnant and trying really hard to earn enough money to support the new child she would be delivering within a few months.
Bob and I began to pray for this young lady. We asked if it was the LORD’s will, that we might be given inroads and open doors into this young woman’s heart that seemed so walled up and impenetrable. We had no “master plan” nor did we see Jenn as some sort of “spiritual project”. We simply understood that one of our gifts from GOD was the ability to relate to younger people, and if any young person ever needed some older friends, it was this young lady.
After several months of feeding us, Jenn began responding to our questions about how she was doing. We didn’t invade with private stuff, but we were sincerely interested in Jenn’s life and apparently she felt that and began to lighten up and engage in conversation. What we did not know before, was what an INCREDIBLE intellect and edgy humor Jenn possessed. Within a few months, Jenn had us laughing until tears flowed. Her spin on everyday situations should be bottled up and poured out onto the pages of a book, for her divergent perspective on life is amazing and refreshing.
We learned that Jenn was in the hospital to deliver her daughter and we were there for a visit. By this time, Jenn had become more than just a server at our local eatery, she had become our friend. Now, we were not only enjoying Jennifer at lunches, but also over private dinners, or visits to her home to enjoy her new daughter, ChloeJace.
It seemed only natural for Bob and I to respond to those calls for prayer or for counsel and comfort when ChloeJace was ill and her young mommy needed a soft place to land. We not only shared Jenn’s good times, but we also shared in her sorrows. We simply showed up. At times, we had no fancy words to offer, or solutions to problems, we just were “there” for Jenn ... our presence was enough.
That was almost eleven years ago. I reflect back upon our seemingly unremarkable first meeting with Jennifer and marvel at the fingerprints of GOD all over that moment. We went from uncomfortable hugs Jenn “hated” at the time but endured, to extravagant love poured out onto us from this young woman. Residing deep within this girl’s heart was an ocean of love just waiting to break forth. Chloe was the key, Jesus was the Door, and we have become the benefactors of this amazing young woman’s love for us. We know Jenn’s love for us is authentic, accepting, and unconditional.
In October of 2009, Papa and Nanny drove from Northeast Georgia to Kentucky to celebrate George’s third birthday. Yes, ChloeJace not only has a mommy but now she has a daddy and a little brother. It was at this time I knew I needed to ask Jennifer a question the LORD had stirring inside of me for several years. It seemed crazy and totally unorthodox when I first felt this nudge to pursue it, but I stood up in front of Jenn and ask: “Jenn, we’ve played all around this for a few years now. We played “family”. Papa and I are in every way imaginable, ChloeJace and George’s grandparents. What would you think if we made this a legal family? We would like to officially and legally adopt you.” Jenn’s answer was with lightning speed. “Yes!! Of course!!”
We hugged and I mean we REALLY hugged. No more “plastic hugs” as I call them ... you know the kind ... not really authentic and free and childlike. I love when people feel safe enough to really hug from their insides out!
In December, Christmas week, the papers were finalized and the gift Bob and I received in the Autumn of Our Days was another daughter:  Jennifer Leah Clark-Dalpe.
As I reflect back upon that incredible FIRST of many “firsts” in my life, I looked down into the face of my firstborn child, Laura Catherine. I thought I could not possibly ever love another child as much as she. “How could I possibly be able to love any other child when I love this one with all that is within me?” Then, something miraculous took place and GOD gave me a baby boy. I had this INCREDIBLE love for Anthony Edward that I didn’t know I could ever possess, but I did. It was revelatory! More love ... and when Laura was five and Tony was three, Marie Elizabeth entered my heart. She was meant to be my daughter, too. She was four years old when my first husband and I adopted her. I began to realize that the more love I give, the move love is given back into my heart by GOD. It can never run out!
Jennifer did not NEED us as parents. She is an amazing self-sufficient, competent, confident and capable woman. Yet, Jenn WANTED to identify with our family in a permanent way. It is a fine line we must walk when such a serious decision is made about adopting. We must check our motives and be sure they are not driven by dysfunction or unhealthy and unmet needs. Our decision to have Jennifer wear our name and be our legal daughter was done over much time, with much prayer, and with internal self checks to strip away anything that might hurt this young lady and her children later on. GOD was Counselor and Guide, and I thank Him for giving us insights and answers as we needed along this journey.
Father, how You continue to amaze me! Thank You that You have given our hearts an endless supply of love for others. Thank You for the unexpected and surprises in our Golden years of life. Thank you that loving Jennifer back when she was a young, scared and lonely teenager, now is a gift of love she so freely gives back to us.
Who would ever have guessed what GOD had in mind?  And, it all began with a handshake.

The thing that strikes me most in these words is this phrase: “We simply showed up. At times, we had no fancy words to offer, or solutions to problems, we just were “there” for Jenn ... our presence was enough.” My prayer is that I too will show up. That I will be present. That when God calls me to more than simply being interested in my “neighbor” and it involves sacrifice, that I would say Yes with a wide open heart.
How about you? Has God ever called you to something divinely deep? Maybe it started with something as small as a handshake but it ended up being something you could never have conjured up yourself.  I’d love to hear about it. God is always doing this kind of stuff around us and it’s inspiring.

A Confession of Failure!

When ChloeJace was born there was nothing major to recall, of the 24 hours and 50 mins. of labor. She was whisked away because she wasn't breathing. The drugs they gave me had crossed into her system. Some blow by oxygen and a shot of narcan she was fine. When the pediatrician was through checking her, he handed her to me and said "she is perfect." For the most part that was true, she had a her fingers and all her toes. Just a few weeks of her being at home she started having problems. She had reflux and needed to change to formula. That helped but not for long. At 28 days old ChloeJace was hospitalized for the first time. She was only in for a few days, but it seemed forever. I felt hopeless and as if somehow there was something that I should have done to prevent it. ChloeJace's problems didn't end there.

By the time she was 6 months old she was doing breathing treatments regularly, still had reflux problems, and now diagnosed with asthma. I did all that I knew to do. Although I was a very young mother, I did not let the doctors intimidate me. I am sure her pediatrician hated me. I had her in the office 2-3 times a week. If we weren't there we where at a specialist office, when something is wrong you just know.

I managed to keep a job washing dishes full time and going to school full time. I clearly recall leaving work to get her take her to the hospital and leave the E.D at 5 am to be at school by 6-am. then go back to work. The week of her first birthday she was hospitalized again with RSV... again. She missed her own birthday party! A month from then she was back in the hospital getting tubes in her ears. Six months of ear infections is about all anyone can stand, I can't imagine what it was like for her.

At this point she had seen about 4 different specialist. We had the reflux, asthma, allergies, ear infections all under control. It was very hard doing all this with out a partner, and with no real family to speak of around.

By the time ChloeJace was 3, things were going well, she was doing great! We only had to see the doctor if she was sick, besides regular check ups. Spring of that year 2003, I was 21, an adult now in those terms. She had started to have more problems, but we could not figure out what was going on. I brought her to daycare, I was holding her, for some reason she seemed very tired that day. No sooner did we get to her class and the vomiting started! So I just turned around and walked right back out the door. I took her to the doctor they could not find anything wrong. After a month into this she was hospitalized... again. The doctor was SURE she had meningitis, and we has been at Chuck E Cheese, recently so I thought it made sense. She was treated and released. Only to be back in the same pattern of getting sick and being lethargic.

ChloeJace went on to go on vacation thinking, she had been treated, for what she had, it just takes time to feel better. The doctor said kids her age didn't get headaches, but to do a LP would just be to painful and not necessary to confirm her meningitis.

She had been on vacation three days it was July 7, and I got a call saying she had fallen and hit her head. They would be taking her to the doctor. Being far away for your child when you know that they have to be at the doctor. She had been poked and prodded at her entire life, but I was always their with her.

So around midnight I got the call I had been waiting for, or so I thought. She was at the hospital and had been admitted. I was beside myself how could I not be there with her...for her. The voice on the other end of the phone started shaking, obviously in distress. I asked "what is it" through the tears and broken up words I heard "she has a tumor in her brain".............what, What,WHAT. The world stopped! I fell to my bedroom floors in tears. I could not speak. I could not move. Shattered, is the only word I can give.

I hung up the phone, and my fingers dialed a number they were programed to dial. "Hello," said the sweet, sleepy voice on the other end. I tried to talk. It hurt to try to speak, but nothing would come out. I was so helpless. I could not even ask for help! My mother "Liz" had breast cancer years before. To have to speak the word tumor to her, was much more that I could bear. I paused....."brain tumor" was all I said. It was all I needed to say. Shaking and sweaty, I start to pack because I know I need to go, don't know where or how, but I had to get to my baby. My parents where on their way to get me to take me to Atlanta to jump on a plain to Illinois. I got enough strength, to call a few others, that loved ChloeJace and I. But each time I had to say "it" was harder.

I had failed myself, by not getting my child the right treatment and diagnosis. I had failed her by not being there, I was the only thing she had known I was her life, how alone, and scared she most have been. I myself was scared, and alone. You she was my first love and the only constant "real" thing I had ever known. I had failed us.

That day was a beginning for us. But that night as I laid on my floor too upset to scream or cry, God picked me up and carried me! The story goes on, but before I get to that you have to know that their is not 3 sets of footprints, there will be only one. When God picked me up He already had ChloeJace "Love" in His arms.



Thank You God! Praise and Glory to you!

Teen Mom

Since my resolution this year doesn't include any exercise, we will take a quick jog down memory lane!

When I was seventeen, I was living in Pensacola, FL with my sister and her husband.  My sister was in training at the naval base there. She herself was only nineteen, so to be married and serving our country is a lot to take on, not to mention caring for her little sister.  She knew I was a handful, but she was very good at handling me.

I met and immediately fell in LLOOVVEE with a Marine. He was from Wichita, KS, and he was very different from me. But we just got each other. If you have ever met someone who “gets” you and you get him, then you understand what I am talking about. 

Well, it was just three months later when I found out that I was pregnant.  I was one of those people who really didn't think it could happen to me.  As dumb as that sounds, it is very true. 

My sister was finishing up at Pensacola Naval Air Station and getting ready to go to Cherry Point, SC. Just before that, we had a big fight, and as with fights involving most teen girls, we were not talking, and I had left. I packed all my belongings into a trunk, and hitched (I do mean hitch hiked) to where my boyfriend was working and living -- a car lot. My sister had to leave for Cherry Point  and I was staying in a camper on a car lot. We would shower with the hose used to wash cars.  

After a week or so, my boyfriend and his friend drove me to Cleveland, GA, and dropped me off at a friend's house. My friend had not told her parents that I was pregnant. After about two days they found out, and I could no longer stay there.  Don't worry, I had gone to the health department and gotten checked out and set up with a doctor. 

I went and stayed with another friend ... in the back of her Blazer. I would sneak into her grandmother's house where she lived to take showers. She would feed me and clean my clothes. 

But after a week or so of that, I found another friend! I know, it is getting a little crazy. This friend actually had a place where I could stay. She was 8 months pregnant and she and the dad were actually living together. She fed me and took care of me. But her baby was coming soon and I knew my time was limited.

When time came for my friend to go to the hospital and to have her baby, I called another friend and she said that I could come over. I had no way of getting there, so I walked 5 miles to her house. This friend was very excited that I was pregnant and wanted to help. She had not told her parents about it. We just took it one day at a time.  When she finally told her parents, they took it well, considering that she asked if I could stay the weekend and it had been over a week. I was seeing a doctor and my friend would go with me to all my appointments.  

I had a place to stay, eat, and shower! I could not get a job. I was on bed rest most of my pregnancy and because it was a high-risk pregnancy, so I could not work anyway. I took my vitamins and read all the baby books, like most pregnant women, except I was still just a kid. I was a very scared kid. 

Having another life inside of me with no means to care for myself, let alone another person was very scary, indeed. I have seen True T.V. I know what happens to young girls who hitch hike. Most people will not be able to relate to living on a car lot, or in the back of a car. My situation was defeating; I had a long way to go! 

I don't know what you would do if you were 17, alone and pregnant, without a home, job or car. I did not have parents to call to go running to for help. So I did the only thing I could, I let God carry me through! I did not deserve his Grace, but God granted it to me.

In January, after going past my due date, the doctors finally induced me. Twenty four hours and fifty minutes later I had my beautiful baby girl! She weighed 8 lbs. 6 oz. and was 21 1\2 inches long. I had gained fifty pounds, but never wore maternity clothes. When everyone else was at prom, I was taking care of my baby. Being a teen mom is not easy, and I would never recommend it.  

Yet, it is amazing for me to see now how God used it to get my attention and to change my life. I was on a path that was not godly and God was nowhere in sight. Also, after Season One of MY reality show, I did NOT get a paycheck or lots of adoring fans. What I DID get was better:  I got God! 

As I said before, when someone gets you and you get them, you just understand.

123 LIFT

Well, I am not doing this to shame or disrespect my husband in any way.  So why am I doing it??  To show how God gives us just what we need.  See we meet and married going on 5 years ago.  I was young and in school with a 5 year old. He had been with Ford Mo. CO. for 10 years, kinda a family thing his father had retired from Ford and moved his family from New York to  Michigan.  He had transferred in to ATL. from MI. to stay with Ford.

So when I was 7months pregnant and on full bed rest and we were told that we had to move (not to mention ChloeJace was about to start 1 grade that week and we had do to it to keep his job) to Louisville, KY.  I started packing and looking for a place to live. That is what a woman does, she picks up and leaves all that she knows for her family.  Brian had to work that whole week, and I only had 2 friends that could help us move!! SHOUT OUT!! TAMMY & CHUCK OWENS. Like I said school started that week, and we didn't even have a place to move to.  But we were packing up.

4ish years down the road.  We get another call!!! Time to move again. To Lima,OH.  You might ask yourself, where the heck is that!! Picture flat, cold, snow, Neil Armstrong!  This time we were told we would have plenty of time (i started packing right away) but they gave us a week again!  Thanks Ford.

Since the last time we moved, Brian has had 2 strokes, yes 2, he has type 1 diabetes.  And ChloeJace has a heart condition, that won't allow her to run, ride a bike, or have an alarm clock without the risk of sudden death. I am not being over dramatic either.  We have been told even with proper care and medication she can suddenly die and need a pacemaker and/or defibrillator, if they get her back.  Brian has always been in good shape, but we have 2 piano's and some solid wood furniture, you know like real stuff.  It had been in Brian's family since the 40's.

Getting to the point.  I am not on bed rest but the packing and the loading fell on me.  This time we didn't have friends that could come help.  Here it is waaiittt for it!
But God
knew years ago, that Brian would need someone with my kinda strength.  The strength to pick up and move.  But also the strength to PICK UP and MOVE!  Is it my choice no... I would like a moving company and to be moving to Hawaii.  Take a look at the things that are hard or that you just don't like, and Praise God!

Thank you God for knowing exactly what I need before I need it

6 weeks in

About 6 weeks ago, I got a call saying we might have to move! Well we are here so you know how it ended. But let me just say that when we first heard that it could happen fear and panic came over me.  Just the whole fear of not knowing what to expect.  The first thing I did was call my Mom and we prayed.  After that point I had peace.  God has given me times of great peace before so I know the feeling. That day I began packing! We have moved with Ford before, last time I was pregnant and on bed rest so already this move would be easier.  Just because I had peace doesn't mean that their were no bumps along the way.  We were given a week to move.  So right away I was on the hunt for a home, school.

That week went by fast. ChloeJace was still in school, and it was the week of Thanksgiving. George and I had to go up with Brain so we could find a home while ChloeJace stayed at a friends and went to school. George and I were doing well, we would get up around 7am and look at homes.  Well the dog started getting car sick, gross! I was doing alot of driving and turning around being in a new area it was tough to find our way.  Then the weather started to change it was getting, cold, ummmm it snowed.  I had not packed accordingly.  Then Brain let the dog out of the hotel by accident.  So she was gone, we had no place to live it was cold oh and then Brian started getting sick! Well we had to find a place to live because we had to move right after Thanksgiving.  Well God is always in control and the last day, the last house we looked at was the ONE.  So we went home Thanksgiving day, without our dog but we had a home!! Brian was sick the whole time, ChloeJace was with a friend doing Thanksgiving.  Oh, did I mention that it rained the whole way home.

So George and I want to Waffle House for Thanksgiving dinner. And everything that can go wrong during our move did. I went to pick up our truck, they didn't have it, or the car cart.  We had to drive across Louisville to pick up a truck!  While the piano movers were waiting at our home (they charge by the hour). I also didn't realize how different this move would be since Brian had his two strokes. We were to tired to leave that night, and it was pouring rain. The next day it rained the whole trip up.  When we got here it was cold and started snowing, moving down an icy ramp is not fun.  But we had to get everything off the truck, it had to be returned the next day.

ChloeJace went for her first day I school, would had gone in the previous day and toured and filled out all the paper work.  But shortly after I dropped her off I got a call saying I need to come pick her up.  Because of her heart condition they could not allow her to be at school. We set up a conference to get things ironed out on what she needed to be safe at school. She only got 2 days in before Christmas break.

Well, everything turned out!  We have been here we had a great Christmas, we went to Michigan and then back to Louisville, to get my car that had been sitting in a parking lot for a month.  Now we are gearing up for birthdays, 2 in January.

So, everything turned out just not in my time.  God already had the plans in place. From finding a place to live, on the last day, to getting ChloeJace into a school that will accept her condition and not make her an outcast.  God answered all the prayers, in just the right time. Thank you God for your timing and not mine.  Thank you for your perfect answers to my prayers.

Adopted at 27 my guest post for Melody Hester

I love how all through Psalms we are told to tell of the good deeds God has done. Basically, we are given complete liberty to be big fat tattle tales….on God! (Insert favorite childhood song of mine: “tattle tale, tattle tale, hang your britches on a nail, hang them high, hang them low…sorry, just had to.) And that’s what my friend, Jennifer, has done in this recollection of how her legal adoption at age 27 came to be. Her story of God’s amazing deeds will grab your heart as it did mine. You will be introduced to a real couple who wear Jesus well and you’ll see a beautiful girl who is growing and thriving in her acceptance of God’s unconditional love. It’s a long post and I’d rather you read Jenn’s story than my introduction to it so I’ll shut up now. Ahem.

So it all started with a hand shake and a very reluctant hug. It was about 12 years ago when I was seventeen and pregnant and found myself at church having to shake hands with old people which was very annoying to me. The old people seemed nice but they liked to hug and shake hands. Soon these people where everywhere. But they didn't seem to mind that I was pregnant or that I didn't have a father for the baby. Not everyone is like that though. You see even at church you get lots of cold stares and people whisper when you walk by. In fact there were people in the church that wouldn't even talk to someone like me. But not Bob and Liz. They were different. They came to visit me when I had my baby and of course, they wanted to hug! Soon everywhere I went I would see Bob and Liz. I started to like them. I could talk about my struggles of being a child, and my struggles of having a baby. My daughter, ChloeJace, was very sick and so it was nothing for her name to be on the prayer chain. She was first hospitalized at 28 days old. Over the next few years Bob and Liz were around a lot. They were there for first surgeries, first Christmas, and her first birthday. I got used to them wanting hugs, but still didn't like it. They became my go-to people for advice on everything and they were there for ChloeJace for everything. They were like Grandparents! Soon they knew all the stories of my past and how I got to be where I was which included all the bad stories of all the bad things that I had done. Just short of killing a person I have done almost everything bad you can think of. We were building a real relationship. God had woven our lives together. And the ironic thing is that I didn't even notice what God was doing. I think he was shielding me from understanding what he was doing because if I had known I would have done a lot more to sabotage God's plan. I thought that it was my destiny to be miserable and unhappy forever. Did I mention I had done a lot of bad things? So I thought being unhappy and miserable was my payback.

But God
But God began to show me that I could be clean; that he could make me new and whole again. God began to work IN me and he has been working on me for years. Through these two people he put in my life I began to change. I was no longer grossed out by having to hug them. I wanted to hug them and I wanted to be apart of them. God has used them to show me that love doesn't have to be earned. That no matter what the bad things are in my life, someone wants to put their arms around me and tell me they love me. There is no amount of badnesss, if that is a word, that God cannot overcome. God picked me up from being single, pregnant and homeless and he cleaned me up and made me new again.
So my life has gone on. I got married, had another kid and finished school. And still after all these years there are two people in my life that are there because they want to be there.

Years went by of this couple loving me, spending time with me and visiting with me. And then finally, after years of hoping, I heard the words I’ll never forget. It was in October of 2009 while Bob and Liz were up for a visit. It had been talked about and mentioned before, but only lightly. I guess with both of us being human you have to test the waters. After all, I HAD been a real piece of work! It took a long time for the walls to come down. Looking back it made the Berlin wall look easy.

But God
But God helped tear down those walls.
So back to the words spoken. It was not planned by us but by God. I had been praying that they would ask. And they had been praying if they should ask. It is not something you take lightly or that can come to fruition without God. And when Liz stood up from the couch a towering 5'3", I was standing right in front of her and she said, "For years now we have been playing; we should make it official. We should adopt you.” And at 26 years old, those were the most beautiful words I have ever heard. I didn't even have to think; the answer, of course, was yes!! And in December of 2009 the courts officially stamped the document. I became Jennifer Leah Clark-Dalpe!! My biological mother had died when I was 3, so after 23 years I finally had a Mommy and a Daddy! My kids know them as their grandparents because they are. I try not to think of it too much. My flesh jumps in and I think of how I can't belong or don't belong. I am so used to not being accepted. How could anyone be willing to do anything more than play family with me.


But God

But God started working on this years before those awkward hand shakes and annoying hugs ever took place. And he has continued to work. God never gives up on us even when we give up on ourselves. God has transformed me in ways I could have never dreamed of. But he did it so slowly that I never knew it was happening. God came to me in the form of two little red headed people. He used them to show me love. It is never too late for God. It took longer than I wanted to get the family that I wanted but God knew what it would take to get to me. So I know it couldn't have happened at a better time. The handshake had to come first and the walls had to come down and then family could fill those places.


I wonder about you……can you relate to Jennifer? I don’t necessarily mean being adopted as an adult but what about having to really work through accepting God’s love for you possibly because of your past or your all –to- keen memory of what your former days were like? Or maybe you had a Bob and Liz divinely walk into your life and, as Jenn says, “were around a lot”. If so, what did that look like? And finally, I have to ask….are we being around a lot in someone’s life right now? Maybe you’re at the hand shake stage or the uncomfortable hug that seems more welcomed now. Heck, you might even be at the legal document stage! Would love to hear about it.

My must haves!

Favorites time!! woohoo. I always love to hear about what people like and are using. And since I am a hoarder of all things cosmetic I thought maybe I should share.  You will see there are a few brands that I am obsessed with right now, and I am sure that will change.  So here we go.

Lets start with feet, ewww gross. Oh, and just let me say if men are going to wear sandals then they should get peddies too. Nobody wants to see ugly man feet. There are do it your self kits!
I love the Volcano mask for feet by Lush. It comes in a pot. You just slather some on and let it dry (also a good reason to sit with your feet up for 20mins.)  This helps pull out impurities, softens, and helps with odor and wetness. It is also all natural.
Then a good follow up, or/everyday use would be Pi de piper foot lotion. If feels great. I has spearmint and arnica (that helps with pain) and give your piggys moisture. This is also by Lush.
Then winter months or anytime your piggys need a bit more moisture I love Hemp foot protector from Body Shop. Psst...this also comes in a formula for hands you'll love it too. This is a thicker heavier cream. This product to is all natural and both of the company's mentioned above you fair trade products, don't test on animals and the products are natural and sometimes even vegan!!  Say whhhaatt I didn't know they could make vegan products, I thought that was just for food.

Now lets move on to body:
I am addicted to self tanning, I just love the natural glow all year. Even with 2 inches of snow on the ground I can still glow! I have tried a lot. The one I love the most is Versa spa. The make a spray in a can that is one color and if you don't want to stand in the cold both this is great. The color is always natural and the you can spray from any direction. Note: If you choose to use a spray at home make sure you get in your shower and close  the curtain. That way any over spray will wash right down. Also be clean and dry make sure you exfoliate and shave. Use a wash cloth and not a sponge you get a better exfoliation.
Since I mentioned shaving lets move on to that. To get a clean closer shave anywhere use Sparkle Skin by Clinique.  Apply lightly like a lotion and the shave it off. It won't cut,scratch or hurt you or your razor! This product comes in a tube or pot.
Also for body lets talk about sunscreen! There are a few sunscreens I love.  They are far better than anything you can get a Wal-mart or the drug store. Clinique and Lancome. Clinique has a stick for eyes, lids and lips (also great for kids). They also have a spray and regular lotion. Both brands are better than broad spectrum and meet the 3:1 euro ratio. Clinique has even add so that your sunscreen is not just protection you from the sun but also repairing damage!! Yes, it is working hard to undo and stop damage!
On the body I would like to recommend 2 powders. Not to use at the same time unless you want to.
Candy sparkle and Coconut both by Lush!  Candy Sparkle smells light and sweet but not to sweet. You can dust it on all over or just in areas. It leaves your skin soft and give you a nice sparkle. The Coconut is more of a deodorant powder and a bit more heavy. It too leaves skin soft, helps reduce odor and wetness.
If your body needs some help like mine try Body Lift 2000 by Clarins. Love, Love, Love it.  It helps to lift and firm and reduce the appearance of cellulite. Hint: during the holidays you can get them in sets 2 for 1.

Face time:
So for day we know we need a sunscreen mentioned above. Most of the time we have foundation, liquid or powder that has a sunscreen in it. That is fine for incidental exposure....meaning fine if you are in the house or going to and from your car. For anything more then that you need more protection. Hint: If you are going somewhere and having pictures taken don't wear sunscreen ANY the sunscreen in most foundations are spheres that float on top of the skin surface giving you that white face look in pictures!
I am still on the hunt for my fave cleanser I do have several likes.  Coal Face and Fresh Pharmacy by Lush.  Coal Face has very fine pieces of coal, and we all know what coal does...it absorbs! So this is great for oil skin! Fresh Pharmacy has calamine and it helps to soothe.. great for upset, broke out, or sensitive skin. Both also double as make up removers! I also love the Oil perfection Light cleanser from Laura Mercier, it starts out as an oil then when you add water it turns into a milk. Being "Light" it is great for oily skin (like mine). This too is a make up remover.

I have also had a hard time with toner, I just haven't found one that I can't live with out.  Cucumber toner from Mario Badescue is great very soothing. Hint:Mario product are VERY reasonable in price, and used by celebs. like Jennifer Anistion and Martha Stuart.
I also like Perfection water light by Laura Mercier. This is a nice splash on that gives a bit of a tingle. The water has nano nutrients that are pumped from the sea and have never seen light before. It also temporally over hydrates the skin ( this gives you a more plump look also pushes debris out of the pores).
If you like to to freshen up, maybe your skin get extra dry try a spray.  Like Cliniques Moisture Surge -Spray or Mist Opportunity by Mark. Both you can throw in your purse and carry with you, they can be used over or under your make up. Just spray and let it soak in no rubbing required.  I have sprayed both over my make up and yes it works fine just DON"T RUB.
Next would be facial sunscreens Cinique Moisture tint or Clinique city block! Both have a bit of color. Moisture tint you can get it 3 different color I get neutral because...well it is neutral. It gives you an extra boost in moisture great for dryer skin types. City block has jut one tint but seem to work for everyone. This also comes in up to a 50 SPF!  Hint:if you are going out special or having pictures use a primer. These are silicone based and float just above the skin giving you a flawless perfect look my fave is Smash Box Primer and Lancome Primer. (I just ordered one from VS so we will see how that works.)

Time for Serums... I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Estee Lauders' Daywear!!  This product is great it has chestnut seed extracts that helps to unclog pores and is silicone based so it give a silky smooth finish.
Also helps to repair and diminsh sun spot! Clinique has Even Better and Even Better Clinical! These serums focus on diminishing sun spot and uneven skin tone. Also silicone based and leave a velvet soft feel.  For night I have to have Estee Lauder Night Repair. This product changed my skin and I can't live without it! I have oily skin so always try to reduce my oil I also reduce my moisture, then my skin gets dehydrated and looks old. It has and ingredient that pulls in moisture. So I can reduce oil but retain my moisture balance. This is a most for all skin types and ages if you give it a chance it will change your skin! This is at the top of my list!

Facial moisturisers are another that I have found ONE or THE ONE. For now I am using Clinique Even Better moisturiser this comes in 3 different types depending on your skin type. It helps to reduce sun spots and uneven skin tone. Paired with a sunscreen it is Guaranteed to reduce uneven skin tone in 4 shades in 4-6 weeks money back. But you have to be charted by a Clinique consultants. They also have a night formula of the Even Better lotion in 3 types for different skin types. I am using the day and night right now but for night I like Lancome Renergie Lift Night Cream  (don't think i spelled that right.) This is a thicker cream and helps to lift and firm the skin, not sure why I liked it just did. So far that is the only night cream that I have even liked:( My Fave day cream is Enzyomion by Lush.  It is great for oily skin, the first time I used it I fell in love. I could feel it wick away the oil from my skin. Hint: you can also use products that wick away the oil after you have make up on there is everything from rice paper sheets Burt's Bees makes my fave and they are easy to take with you and blot anytime. Or you can use  a product like Cliniques T-Zone shine control.

Now with foundation it is tricky I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, Laura Mercier oil Free Foundation. There is also a kind with oil for dry skin types. I am very hard to match because I am so yellow and most foundation have a very pink base even if they say neutral  or golden. This you use a sponge, wet it the add a dab pencil point amount and apply. Hint: this is a special sponge not the ones you buy at the drug store, if you choose to use the drug store ones you need to use a new one everyday!!! The hold bacteria and you don't want to re apply bacteria to your face...ewwww. I also love Estee Lauder's Double Wear this comes in lots of different formulas if you like full coverage get the regular. If you like less coverage (like for summer) use Double Wear Light. There is also a new Double Wear Mineral powder.  Hint:if using a mineral powder to get the intended result you much use a mineral brush!! This is a must! I have not had a chance to try the new powder but I am sure I will love it!

For setting powder it is not that big of a deal to me I use Clinique loose powder it comes in lots of different shades and you can get some with a sparkle too if you like. I like the translucent so I can use it no matter how light or dark I am be.

Also with powders and foundation Mineral foundations seem to be real popular. I don't know why I think powders are messy and don't want all that in my bathroom, and touch ups on the go are hard.  Hint:also with mineral powders you MUST use a setting powder or veil. If you want the intended result. I like Lancome's Mineral powder, you can sometimes get the set that has the brush and the veil! If not buying the set separately get pricey.

Let's do eyebrows, this is easy if you want great brows find a "Brow Bar" by Benefit. They will set you up and they have a lacquer that keeps your brows from smudging and smearing.

Lipstick is an easy one too. If you want great color that stay on great use Fashion Fair this is a line for African American women, and they have been keeping a secret. Their lipsticks are the best.

Lip liner is easy too if you wear highly pigmented colors like reds  you want to FOR SURE use a liner. The pigments tend to spread out.  No matter how young or old your lips are these colors will spread out giving you that old lady lip look. Laura Mercier has a nude line that helps hold the color in place. Hint: you get the best look you will want to exfoliate your lips before you apply. Clinique has a lip scrub that you put on then wipe off. It is a smooth cream. If you need more exfoliation Lush has lip scrubs that are grainy and great flavors.

Going further with lips, for everyday the one and only chap stick that should ever be used by anyone is Burts' Bees.  I prefer the original and in the pot but you can get the stick and now they have a honey or pomegranate version. They also have ones with tints.

For now I will leave at this and add the rest of my Faves. soon