ok? ok! God am I ok?

 Coming this Memorial Day, my husbands dad will have been dead for 12years.  Brian don't know that all he knows is his Dad has been gone for a long time. Why I know the date and year is a bit odd, I never knew him. I wish I had, known him.  But it doesn't stop my heart break for him. Life is sweet like cinnamon. 

As I think of the death of my mother, I know that not having that person with you is haunting. What, would be,could be, should be. In my dream I can make up my own stories. But we all wake up.  My heart means well, it wants me to be happy, but swimming in the dreams and waking up without that person, I don't know if it makes it harder or easier, to be with out them. Do we all fool everyone that we are OK? 

What is OK,we say it so much be we don't really mean it. Waking up with tears is not OK, or is it. What is our standard OK?  Everything is OK, no  I am fine.

It doesn't just have to be death and dying, sometimes it is life and living.

It is OK for orphans to drowned in their now tears? I don't have to see it so it must be OK

. Is greed OK. A job that you can't stand that makes you sick to go to. OK for millions to go hungry while we scrap our food by the plate full?

OK, to have your heartbroken, by life, people and circumstance.

The only thing I know that makes ALL of this OK is that God is with me, with us, with them, with you. He is there all the time and that is OK. The best OK I could have. Without God nothing could be OK.