The truth, whole truth and yadda, yadda, yadday!

Ok so I failed to mention in the last blog. That  ChloeJace's up coming surgery scares me! I am terrified. I am afraid of being alone in the hospital with her.  Afraid of the actual surgery.  ChloeJace has only had 3 surgery's in her life but has been put to sleep over a dozen times.  I know the financial burden will be heavy, but that doesn't scare me, maybe it should?  Recovery at home with her and George scares me.  The 3 hour drive home from the hospital with just her and I scares me.
  George love, love, loves his sister, when she is away for a night, he is uneasy.  For her and I both to be gone, will be very dramatic for him, especially if Brian has to work!  I know he will want to be with her and play and get in her bed. It will be hard to keep him in a safe distance from her.
 So here it is my fears, all of them written out so I have to face them, and not just look over till I am ready to deal with them.  I am not ready to deal with ANOTHER life saving, changing...surgery!  I have strong faith and know that ChloeJace's is in good hands,  God's hands.  But I am just a human, and I love my child very much, and I know if he brings me to it he WILL see me through it!