Ok so I failed to mention in the last blog. That ChloeJace's up coming surgery scares me! I am terrified. I am afraid of being alone in the hospital with her. Afraid of the actual surgery. ChloeJace has only had 3 surgery's in her life but has been put to sleep over a dozen times. I know the financial burden will be heavy, but that doesn't scare me, maybe it should? Recovery at home with her and George scares me. The 3 hour drive home from the hospital with just her and I scares me.
George love, love, loves his sister, when she is away for a night, he is uneasy. For her and I both to be gone, will be very dramatic for him, especially if Brian has to work! I know he will want to be with her and play and get in her bed. It will be hard to keep him in a safe distance from her.
So here it is my fears, all of them written out so I have to face them, and not just look over till I am ready to deal with them. I am not ready to deal with ANOTHER life saving, changing...surgery! I have strong faith and know that ChloeJace's is in good hands, God's hands. But I am just a human, and I love my child very much, and I know if he brings me to it he WILL see me through it!
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